Two years down, and it's still not easy. I miss her everyday. I've found myself not listening to the music that makes me think of her, because I can't help but tear up. I'd give anything to hug her one more time, paint her nails once more, toil in the garden with her one last time. Just to be able to lay next to her on the couch and watch Kung Fu movies, or watch her make bibingka in the kitchen...you just don't know.
She was my heart, and I was her baby. I carry her name, carry her legacy, and she is a big part of who I am. Although her thinking was unconventional, she was a unique individual, and she encouraged me to be one, as well. In her eyes, I could do no wrong. In her eyes, I really was a Miss Sampaguita...no, really. She forced me to enter a Filipino beauty pageant that I wanted no part in. I dropped out shortly after. In her eyes,I could do anything, and be anyone. Her belief in me, helped fuel my self-confidence, and I attribute it to my own successes.
I hope that I'm making her proud, daily. I will always be Grandma's baby, and she will always be the Siapno that set the standard for all of the Siapno women that followed. She is the reason that I carry myself more ladylike, with poise, and manners. I want her to know that her life teachings were not in vain. I got the messages, and I'm using them in my life, daily. Love you, Grandma Cecilia...more than you'll ever know.
"I go to sleep and feel your spirit next to me..."
